Sunday Devotional - What is Slavery Today?

When the Israelites first arrived in Egypt, it was for freedom sake. They were friends of Pharaoh (through Joseph), and they settled in the land of Goshen because the rest of the world was in the midst of a drought and they would die if they didn’t. They weren’t told what they couldn’t do. (Genesis 47)

But after a while, Pharaoh died, Joseph died, and everyone who knew any of them died, and soon the Israelites became slaves. They were stripped of the right to leave or to decline work. They lived in back breaking labor day in and day out, and were given no rest—after all, who gives rest to slaves?

So when they were finally given freedom, God instituted a day of rest, and they were given the right again to say “no” to work and enter into the stillness and peace that can only be found by allowing God to be ruler in their hearts again.

Deuteronomy 5:15 - Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God brought you out of there with a strong hand and an outstretched arm. That is why the Lord your God has commanded you to keep the Sabbath day.

Today slavery doesn’t look much different. It promises freedom because it will take care of us and fulfill our need without telling us what we can’t do or shouldn’t do. Smoking promises to keep us relaxed and help us stay thinner. Alcohol promises to help us forget our worries and become a more fun person. Caffeine promises to help us stay alert and awake so we can work or play longer and need sleep less. Food promises to comfort us and keep us from ever feeling hungry. 

But once we continue to live with our newfound friend and addiction, we’ll find it’s not easy to leave or even decline it when we have an urge to continue. And what’s worse is that we have to pay or work harder in order to keep up with the demands of the addiction. We have to smoke or drink or eat more in order to get the same promise out of them, and that costs more money. And not to mention the toll that these things take on our health. Cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and other organ disfunction awaits the person who remains enslaved to these addictions. We soon find that the freedom promised by these things were actually just another form of bondage. It didn’t tell us what we couldn’t do at first, but eventually we found that we couldn’t stop.

Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Christ has set us free from every bondage, every enslavement, so there is no need to live in slavery today to anything. No addiction can hold us if we abide in Christ and live in obedience. We have a promised land, a land of freedom promised to us in God’s word. But, just like the Israelites after they were freed from Egypt, they still had to fight to take the land that was promised to them.

Deuteronomy 1:8 - Behold, I have set the land before you: go in and possess the land which the LORD swore unto your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give unto them and to their seed after them.

Joshua 1:3 Every place where the sole of your foot treads, I have given you, as I promised Moses.

Even though God made these promises to Joshua and Moses, they Bible shows through most of the book of Joshua that they had to fight to gain ground and to take possession of the land and freedom God said was theirs. Likewise, freedom is ours, it’s already promised to us, but it’s up to us to fight and take it.

But isn’t it difficult to now battle against our addiction? It’s easy to remember the “good times” when the enslavement didn’t seem so bad. Wasn’t it nice to us before? Didn’t it kind of keep some of its promises? But unless we want to go back to Egypt, back to being told we can’t leave and we can’t stop while it slowly kills us and works us to death, we must fight.

Numbers 14:40-45 - Early the next morning they set out for the highest point in the hill country, saying, “Now we are ready to go up to the land the Lord promised. Surely we have sinned!” But Moses said, “Why are you disobeying the Lord’s command? This will not succeed! Do not go up, because the Lord is not with you. You will be defeated by your enemies, for the Amalekites and the Canaanites will face you there. Because you have turned away from the Lord, he will not be with you and you will fall by the sword.” Nevertheless, in their presumption they went up toward the highest point in the hill country, though neither Moses nor the ark of the Lord’s covenant moved from the camp. Then the Amalekites and the Canaanites who lived in that hill country came down and attacked them and beat them down all the way to Hormah.

However, if we try to fight in our own strength, we will be beaten time and again, just like the Israelites were each time they tried to fight without God’s provision. The truth is that if we were strong enough to free ourselves and battle on our own, we would have done so. And just because we are children of the omnipotent King doesn’t mean that we can do things without Him with us. 

Gaining ground is a struggle, but if we rely upon the Lord’s strength, ground will be gained. We must pray before every battle, realizing that this is not our war, it’s His. Rely upon His strength each and every time we need to resist the urge to give in to our slavery. God alone can defeat our enemy, we need to leave it in His hands, and worry about only about abiding in Him.

My personal paraphrase of the promises from Isaiah 30:18-21(TPT) - Entwine your heart with His. Wait for Him to help and He will answer you when you cry out. Through hardship and difficulty, He will be with you—He will not hide from you. And you will hear his once behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it.”

John 15:7-8 - If you remain in me and my words in you, that is if we are vitally united and my message lives in your heart, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified and honored by this, when you bear much fruit and prove to be my disciples. (AMP)

So my prayer today is that we take hold of the freedom to say “no” to whatever we are enslaved to today. That we will believe the promises of strength and boldness that we are granted in God’s word and march forward with Him in front of us and behind us and telling us where to go and how to get there. That our hearts will be entwined with His and that He will help us with the battles that we are facing to take hold of the freedom that is ours. In Jesus name.

Sunday Devotional - This Easter, am I Judas or Peter?

It’s Easter Sunday, and I’ve had Judas on my heart. He walked closely with Jesus, saw the miracles, heard His voice and His teaching, even shared meals with Him, but Judas didn’t submit to Him. Even though he was that close to Him, Judas didn’t allow Jesus to change him. Am I the same? Even if I’m around Jesus, going to church, reading my bible, listening to worship music, am I surrendered? Am I allowing Jesus to change me and make me more like Him?

John 12:6 - Now Judas said this, not because he cared about the poor [for he had never cared about them], but because he was a thief; and since he had the money box [serving as treasurer for the twelve disciples], he used to pilfer what was put into it. 

Judas couldn’t be trusted with the little things. He made compromises on little things. What was the big deal? As long as they had enough money to do what the disciples wanted to do, did it really matter if he took a little bit of something for himself? Small compromises weakened his integrity and made it easier for him to make bigger ones. It opened the door for the enemy to work. When I make small compromises, what am I setting myself up for? Every choice I make draws me closer to God or further away. Every choice is a battle for my soul, so what will I choose today?

Luke 22:3 Then Satan entered Judas, the one called Iscariot, who was one of the twelve [disciples].

Because of Judas’s sin and his lack of repentance, Satan found a way into his heart and caused the ultimate betrayal of Jesus. But even after this horrible mistake, Judas could have changed, he could have repented and run back to Jesus, but the enemy lied to him, and Judas believed him. When am I guilty of believing the enemy’s lie that my mistake is too bad for the Lord to forgive? Or that I can’t face the Lord now that I’ve failed in resisting temptation. God’s mercy is always stronger, coming to Him dirty and broken is expected. My mistakes aren’t final if I turn to the Lord and let Him forgive me. Who will I choose to believe? 

Matthew 27:3-4 When Judas, His betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was gripped with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders,  saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” They replied, “What is that to us? See to that yourself!”

Even though Judas felt guilty, he didn’t turn to the Lord for forgiveness, and he didn’t repent. Instead of going to Jesus, he went back to the religious leaders, and they offered him no forgiveness, no grace, and no mercy. They didn’t care. So the guilt that he had drove him to despair. 

Matthew 26:74-75 Then Peter started to curse and to swear with an oath, “I do not know the man!” Immediately a rooster crowed, and Peter remembered the words Jesus had spoken, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.

Peter also betrayed Jesus that night be denying Him three times. Adamantly, with curses. But with his regret and guilt came repentance. He sought the Lord, and when Peter finally saw Him, he leapt from his boat and swam to shore, coming directly to him rather than letting the enemy have the final word.

John 21:17 He asked him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved that He asked him the third time, “Do you love Me?” He said, “Lord, You know everything! You know that I love You.” “Feed My sheep,” Jesus said.

And the Lord gave him the opportunity to repent and say that he loved Him three times. One for each time Peter had denied Him. Each followed up with the command to feed His sheep. And Peter did as he was asked. He didn’t let his story end with his betrayal, but found repentance, love, grace, and redemption by coming back to the Lord.

Even when we mess up, Jesus loves us. He doesn’t quit just because we failed. He already knows everything bad we’ve ever done or are going to do and He still offers us forgiveness and grace. Even though Jesus already knew what Judas was going to do before he’d even started plotting, Jesus still washed his feet. He still looked at him lovingly at the Last Supper. His grace and love go beyond betrayal and denial. And He gives us the opportunity for redemption and repentance through is mercy and grace. 

Hebrews 4:16 - Therefore let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us at the proper time.

So my prayer today is that we will be more like Peter than like Judas. That we will turn directly toward God when we make a mistake. That we will listen to Him rather than the enemy so that He can show us the mercy, kindness, and a love that can make us bold, even when we betray Him. Let us never let Satan have the final word and make us believe that we’re unworthy of even trying to come to Him. Of course we’re unworthy, but we’re not unloved. Let us remember that He already knows what we we’ve done, and there’s no reason to hide. He invites us instead, as always… to come.

God is in the Details vs. The Devil is in the Details

As Christians, we know that Satan is out there trying to replace God, and in this phrase, he is doing just that. The origin of this phrase is attributed to 19th century French novelist, Gustave Flaubert as "Le bon Dieu est dans le détail" translating,  “The good God is in the details.”

The meaning of this phrase was that one should pay particular attention to details, to not let your work or study be only about the big picture, but also about the smallest points. As believers, we often find God at work in the details of our lives. According to Luke 12:7, God knows the number of hairs on your head. Do you know the number of hairs on your head? I don’t. Not to mention that the number of hairs on your head changes daily as you lose a few or grow new ones. Yet, He knows.

As our creator, God knows every detail of our lives down to the smallest particle. Science is still in awe of how the smallest particles of our make up are so detailed, and how as we get stronger microscopes, we find even smaller particles exist. So God is very much in the details, and if we are paying attention and living for Him, we’ll see Him there and make certain that we don’t miss Him.

But in modern days, this proverb has been twisted. Replacing God with the devil wasn’t even part of the common vernacular until the 1960’s. And instead of talking about the need to pay attention to details when creating something, it’s speaking of the need to pay attention to the details when purchasing something, or taking something on. It’s talking about how the seller or creator is trying to hide things or con the purchaser into taking on something that he’ll find out isn’t as solid, as good, or strong as he thought it was when he was looking at the big picture.

The phrase is now referring to the evil that we will find when we look in the details of what has already been made. This is a sad turn of events. Because society has turned toward selfishness, and putting one’s own needs and wants above everyone else’s, we forget how detail-oriented God is. He hasn’t forgotten. If we are working to please the Lord instead of ourselves, we’ll make sure that our work is done honestly and that every detail is taken care of in a positive manner. A believer is not out to con others because he knows that God sees every detail of what we do and knows our heart, and there are no secrets from Him.

I know that I will purposefully be changing this phrase back to its original meaning in my life. Details matter. When we are creating, we should pay attention to the details to be sure that we glorify God with what we’re making. If everyone would feel this way, there would be no need to worry about fraudulent details instead.

Sunday Devotional ~ Making Room for God

 

He must increase, but I must decrease. (John 3:30)

As Christians we want more of God in our lives—more of Jesus. We are selfish for Him to give us greater, bigger, and more extravagant blessings. It reminds me of one of the old hymns we sang at the small church my family attended when I was younger:

Showers of blessing,
  Showers of blessing we need;
Mercy-drops round us are falling,
    But for the showers we plead. (Daniel Webster, 1883)

Yes, we are thankful for the drops of mercy we receive from the Lord, but we all want showers of blessing. And we know that our God is capable of doing this.

God is able to do far more than we could ever ask for or imagine… (Ephesians 3:20)

But exactly how do we get more from Him? By making room. We make room by decreasing—decreasing our wants, our desires, ourselves, and giving that space to the Lord. There is no such thing as “awkward silence” with the Lord. Silence is golden. It’s by waiting to hear from Him that we receive His word and His blessings. But do we want those things enough to give up things that might seem good to us now, but hold us back from receiving even better from our God? Do we let making ourselves comfortable take preference? Do we fill our time, our minds, our bellies so full of things that we provide that we don’t allow the Lord to provide even better?

I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. 

Open your mouth wide and I will fill it. (Psalm 81:10)

Instead of trying to fill ourselves up and doing our own thing, and making our own way, let us take a moment to allow ourselves to be empty and then allow God to fill us up. We may just find out that His showers of blessing were just one step, one choice away. While we’ve been busy trying to find a way to fill the void in us with other things, God has been waiting for us to just turn to Him.

Today my prayer is that we open ourselves up to God. That we make room for Him in a new way. If we listen to the Holy Spirit, He will tell us where we’ve been failing to make room. Then all we have to do is let go of that thing and allow God to fill us up!

Sunday Devotional - Have I Been Holding Back?

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and 

with all your soul and with all your mind.’ (Matthew 22:37)

God wants it all. He wants 100%. So if I give Him 90% of my heart, it's not enough. If I give Him 95% of my soul, it's not enough. And if I give Him 99% of my mind... it's not enough.

So many times we think we're doing enough because we are doing more than our neighbor. If we compare ourselves to others, it may seem unfair that even though we hold back that 5%, our neighbor doesn't even give 50%, so how does it seem he's more blessed than us? Why is God holding back when we give Him so much?

 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, 

you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, 

which leads to death,

 or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? (Romans 6:16)

Everything we give into, yield to, or indulge in takes away a little portion of ourselves that God wants. If we give in just a little bit to selfishness, then that part is taken away from God. If we give in just a little bit to lust, soon we find that lust takes over a small part of our lives too. The more things we give our time, energies, and hearts to, the less time, energy, and love we have for God. He wants to give us freedom and life, but we're too busy making ourselves slaves to every little inclination we have. He wants all our hearts, souls, and minds, but are we holding back?

Then Peter spoke up, “We have left everything to follow you!” (Mark 10:28)

Absolute surrender is when we leave everything and give up everything for the sake of following God. He doesn't want us to come to Him and hold back something for ourselves. He wants us to give everything to Him, not because He wants us to have less, but because He wants to give us more. He intends to give us greater and better things when we're willing to give up the small things that we cling to now. 

So what am I clinging to? What am I unwilling to give up? Shouldn't I consider that the piece that I'm missing--that's holding me back from the breakthrough I desire most-- is worth giving up anything? Today my prayer is that we realize what we're holding back from God in our lives... our little indulgences... so that we can be willing to lay that small thing down at God's feet to gain bigger and better things.

Sunday Devotional - Dealing with Discontentment

One of the hardest things to deal with as a child of God is when we're disappointed with the One who provides all things. Sometimes we think that we deserve more than we have, better than we have, or something faster than we're getting. It's easy to see other people gaining what we want and then feeling like it's unfair that God's holding back His blessing from us. Especially when we've been good.

Like a child throwing a tantrum, we want to rail at God for being unjust.

Satan moves in like a lion waiting to devour right about now, too - he's there to provide all the coaxing that we need to feed our feeling of dissatisfaction.

• Everyone else has more, even though they aren't even believers.
• You've worked so hard this week, you deserve that reward - but God didn't care to give it to you.
• Why should you bother fighting temptation when it makes no difference?
• Why should you have to keep waiting for what you want?
• God obviously doesn't care.
• He doesn't really love you.

The eyes of all look to you,

    and you give them their food at the proper time.

You open your hand

    and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

(Psalm 145:15-16)

God has not changed who He is. He does love us and He does care. He is the provider of all good things - but in the proper time. His time. Our every desire will be satisfied by His hand. Just because He provides differently from what we expect, or at a different time than we hope, doesn't mean He won't provide. 

When feeling discontented, the first thing we need to do is tell God how we feel. If we're mad, tell Him. If we're sad, tell Him that, too. The Psalms are full of discontented voices asking God to hurry up. Once we've emptied out our feelings, we then need to denounce the lies and remember the truth of God's word. His promises are real and meant for us. We need to remember everything He has provided for us already, then thank Him and praise Him. Lastly, we need to wait upon Him. Wait for the contentment, or the blessing. If we know we are going to receive His promise, but haven't yet, we need to wait for it in great expectation. It's coming, even if it's not on our timetable. 

I've had a great bout with discontentment this week. I felt as though I'd been battling hard, fighting to gain ground, but when I checked to see how much ground I'd gained, I'd actually lost some. I was heartbroken, cried, and spent a few hours having a temper-tantrum of sorts. Then God reminded me of His provision. He reminded me that it's about the relationship I'm developing with Him, not about the outside sources or rewards. 

Jesus is the only source of true joy and satisfaction. He is my reward. 

Yes. I had a child-like tantrum and afterward, I felt a great deal of guilt. But God gave me a good hug and reminded me that I'm already acceptable to Him. If you're feeling discontented like I was, I pray that this short message and testimony will find you where you are and help you remember where you're reward is, too. May God bless you on your continuing journey with Him.

Sunday #Devotional for #tWorship - Controlling Peace - Guest #Blog

Controlling Peace

by Barbara Ann Derksen

The winter sky, this morning, is the same color as the snowy landscape, not so great for those of us who think of ourselves as photographers. But there’s no wind and the temperature is slightly moderate in light of what it could be at this time of year.

I’m working on my latest books, writing, social networking, and doing research, all necessary to the work of a writer. In the midst of it all, God tells me through Paul, in His letter to the Colossian church that “You have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.” Col 2:10 (NIV)

I can relax knowing that Jesus is in control. The following is an example of someone who tussles with who she is in Christ. Marsha struggled with the task in front of her. She needed to complete this one before she could begin the next. There is always a next one, she thought. She had a hard time saying no. Marsha loaded the table with fresh produce for the food bank and then picked up the inventory list. Keeping track of what came in and what was taken by needy people in the community was part of her job as food bank coordinator.

Marsha loved the accolades she received from leaders in the small town she lived in. And yet, she was never satisfied that she’d done enough or that she received enough community awards. She felt a deep emptiness inside. These volunteer projects were supposed to fill that void, guarantee her a place of honor in heaven someday. Nothing seemed to be good enough, however.

As a Christian, God has come into our lives to fill that empty spot, the void that was created so that only He could fill it. People try all sorts of things. They work hard to load that emptiness with good deeds, but they leave God entirely out of the picture. It doesn’t work because it remains ‘human doings’ instead of God doing through us.

Our walk with the Lord, our daily time with Him, fills us to continue through the rest of our day. Because we are content, because we feel loved and cherished by God Himself, we seek to volunteer, to do whatever we can for someone else, not so we can earn anything but because of what He has given to us. We want to share His love with others because He gave His love to us when we least deserved it. Our life is full, content, and we have only God to thank for it.

For further study: Phil.4:11; 1 Tim. 6:8;Heb.13:5

This is an excerpt from the devotional Road Trip. The book of Matthew, Chapter five, begins the greatest sermon ever preached. In this chapter and all the way to the end of chapter seven, God gives us clear direction on how we are to live our lives as Christians. He covers a host of topics leaving no doubt that He loves us and wants only the best for us. Road Trip is an easy to read study of those principles to encourage you in your daily walk. http://t.co/S6NymPvv

~*~

Watching the expressions on the faces of her readers is what drives author and speaker, Barbara Ann Derksen to write. Her favorite genre is murder mystery but each book brings forth characters who rely on God as they solve the puzzle in their life. With 14 books to her credit, Barbara works hard to develop a social media presence. Her books can be found on Amazon, at Barnes and Nobles, and on her website, www.barbaraannderksen.com. Canadian born, Barbara is a member of The Word Guild, Manitoba Writer’s Guild, The Writer’s Collective, and Christian Motorcyclists Association, USA.

The Acid of Life and the Antacid of #God

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. (Deuteronomy 6:7 NKJV)

Because of his anatomy, the horse’s stomach is constantly producing acid. He must eat all day long in order to keep from developing ulcers and other digestive issues. This is why it is suggested to split a horse’s daily food intake into several small portions rather than one large one.

God has designed us spiritually in a similar manner. We need to take in nourishment from Him several times per day in order to keep the “acid” in our lives from making us upset. Reading the word, spending time in prayer, praising His name, and listening to Godly teachings are ways to get that nourishment.

Spending twenty minutes of devotional time in the morning is wonderful, but if that’s all the nourishment we get, then by evening the “acid” of worry and stress in our lives will upset our witness, our progress, and our walk. We have to keep ruminating on the word all day long in order to keep our spiritual digestive system on track so that we can grow.

An Excerpt From:

 

Read more: Kindle Edition only 99 cents at Amazon

Be Fruitful

John 15 :1-11 – I am the true vine, and My Father is the vine dresser.  Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.  You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.  Abide in Me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

I am the vine, you are the branches.  He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.  If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.  If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.  By this My father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.  If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.

~*~*~*~

Galations 5:22-23 – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  Against such there is no law.

I am new to gardening.  My husband just built a flowerbox for me at the front of our house, and filled it with good fertilizer.  I don’t know much about flowering plants other than annuals last a season, and perennials come back again next year.  When the flowers I planted stop producing buds about two weeks after planting, a friend of mine suggested that I prune the old flowers.

Pruning is a strange concept to someone who knows nothing about plants.  The act of cutting off unfruitful parts so that the fruitful ones can flourish seems an unusual thought.  But if we think about it rationally, it may start to make sense.  If we consider the fact that resources are limited: that the soil only holds so much nutrient value, there is only so much water that a plant can take in, and there are only so many hours of sunlight in the day.  Then we might start to realize that taking away unfruitful branches help the fruitful ones to gain more resources that would have been used up by the unfruitful branches.

The same is true of our lives.  There are only so many hours in the day, and we only have so much energy.  If we spend our resources on things that are unfruitful – that bring us down instead of raising us up, we won’t have the resources necessary in order to help our fruitful branches bear more fruit.  Sometimes we spend ourselves on things that are not necessarily bad, but not best either.  There is nothing wrong with watching the news on TV, but now that there are 24 hour news networks, we could spend every waking moment watching it.  This would certainly take away our time to do better things, such as spending time building a relationship with the Lord.

Sports and activities keep us healthy and allow us to socialize with people we have common ground with.  This is a good thing.  But if we become so obsessed with a sport or activity that it takes time away from relationship building and fruit bearing, it too needs pruning.

We need to put everything under the obedience of Christ.  If it is not fruit bearing, prune it.  We need to spend more time in praise, worship, and meditating on scripture than we do watching television.  If we prioritize our lives and make God a greater priority, we will not regret the fruit that we bear.  Let’s make this our prayer today.

Ephesians 5:8-11 – For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.  Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.

My Exodus

When I graduated High School, I weighed 250 lbs.  I started on a diet rollercoaster that let me fluctuate between 205 and 250.  Seven  and a half years ago, I discovered a secret to losing weight!  If I stopped following my stomach and desire for food, and followed Jesus and transferred my desire to Him, I lost weight.  Not just a little bit, but over 100 lbs. 

Then two years later, I was the thinnest I'd ever been and looked forward to reaching the single digits in clothing size for the first time in my life, post puberty.  I was at the Jordan River, looking at my promised land!  And just like the Isrealites, I counted the cost and was afraid to cross.  I remember vividly the exact day this happened. Now I've wondered in the wilderness for six years.

What was I afraid of?  I was afraid of not living a "normal" life.  I thought that maybe following Jesus was just too hard, that He asked too much of me.  I didn't want to be committed to Him any more.  So He gave me what I wanted.

Over and over again, I tried to resume our relationship, but I just couldn't find the intimacy that we once had.  The pounds packed back on no matter how much exercise or dieting I attempted.  I gained back 85 of the 105 that I originally lost.  Praise God that I still sat at 15 lbs less than the highest I'd been.

Now for the past month, Jesus has told me that it's time.  I know that I can't loose this weight on my own.  I know now that I don't even want to do it for myself anymore.  I've lost 11 lbs, and I'm finding my center once more in Jesus.

If you are tired of living as a "Fat Christian" than this blog is for you.  Join me as we encourage each other to press on in Faith!  I'll be updating daily as I review my journal entries from 7 years ago, and sharing scriptures that God shares with me today!  I hope you'll consider taking this journey with me.